For the past several months, I have been in attendence at several marriage equality panel discussions and I'd bump into Jason Cooper from the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force. It wasn't hard for us to find each other since we'd often find ourselves the only people of color in the room. Puzzled by this, we decided to organize a gathering for people of color to discuss their feelings on marriage equality and discuss why these same people were conspicuously absent from the aforementioned panel discussions.
So, we organized a complimentary dinner at Lucy Florence and invited members of the African American and Latino community, specifically couples, to the table (literally) for some food and conversation.
It was a cute set-up, food was good, location was central, all that. Damn shame nobody showed up. HA!
Katrina from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance showed up actually but she was supposed to assist in the discussion so technically she doesn't count.
In hindsight, organizing a gathering on marriage equality to discuss why folks don't come to gatherings on marriage equality might have been a bit off. We had hoped adding the element of dinner might make the talk a little more enticing.
As we partook of the lasagna, salad, fruit, etc. that Lucy Florence had set up for us we noticed a couple of guys enter the restaurant. The shorter guy was obviously family so we invited them both over to the table.
What ensued was a very intriguing conversation of friendship and disparity between two people.
As it turned out, the two men who walked through the door were not a couple, they were best friends - one straight, one gay.
The straight guy told us how the two became friends, having first worked at an HIV clinic and then bonding over relationship issues turned two people who were first rivals into thick as thieves.
What was interesting about the conversation was that even after admitting that his gay counterpart was his dear friend and someone he would do anything for, the straight guy - Mike - admitted that he felt that marriage should only be between a man and a woman, justifying his position with concerns about children, population, belief and other potential downfalls in society.
I think Mike represents a large portion of today's American society. That being, a person enveloped in his personal belief system yet faced with the reality of true feelings of love for a gay person. The conflicting issues of religion vs. real life is reconciled with the claim that they're being "compassionate" which I personally find to be a condescending sentiment.
When asked his concerns about gay marriage, Mike did not have a clearly defined reason, what he had was a hodgepodge of some not clearly defined fears.
When I challenged him with my real-life example of a lesbian couple who were denied rights of survivorsip when one of them died and asked him how he could allow their children to suffer because the marriage is not legally sanctioned and as such denied the children of certain rights, he asked me why I was blaming him personally. I told him if he voted against gay rights then he is personally responsible for the financial hardship placed up on these children. I don't think he ever really understood that because he kept dismissing his no vote on gay marriage with the belief that the world is changing and that there are more people FOR gay marriage these days than there are AGAINST so what he demmed "our side" will outnumber "his side" soon and it'll all be good.
HUH?
Anyway, I see Mike as a microcosm of the heterosexual African American community who do not support gay marriage - especially those ensconced in religion. The desire to preserve the "traditional" family unit (even though most of us - gay or straight- never grew up in one), religion, and concerns that gay begats gay relative to children is what keeps them voting against our rights time and time again.
I doubt that we changed Mike's mind at all and I can only hope that he took our words to heart on how his discomfort and fear about the lifestyle were putting good taxpaying, educated, decent gay and lesbian people in difficult social and financial positions but even if he doesn't, it was worth the time to look into the mind of those who don't support us.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
MoveOn petition
Dear MoveOn member,
This is it — they've pulled the trigger.
On Tuesday May 24th, the Senate will vote on a motion to end debate on judicial nominations, and when that motion fails Senator Bill Frist will launch the "nuclear option" — an unprecedented parliamentary maneuver to break the rules of the Senate and seize absolute control over lifetime appointments to the highest courts in the land. The vote is going to be incredibly close, and there are as many as 6 votes still up in the air — more than enough to win. We must act now.
We've launched an emergency petition and, starting Monday, we'll deliver your signatures and comments to the Senate floor every three hours until the vote is complete. As the debate rages on, Senators fighting to preserve our independent courts will read your statements from the floor of congress. And every senator, every 3 hours, will receive thousands of pages from their constituents demanding that they stand up and do the right thing.
We have less than 72 hours to win this vote and save our courts. Please sign today.
http://www.moveonpac.org/nuclear?id=5554-3294007-ObOe790dExKi9x7uZNQGPw&t=3
If you care about the minimum wage — and you don't want judges ruling it unconstitutional — now's the time to act.
If you care about environmental laws — and you don't want judges striking them down — now's the time to act.
If you care about your right to privacy — and you don't want the government telling your family how to live, worship, or even how to die — now's the time to act.
As the fight escalates in Congress, thousands of MoveOn members will gather outside of Senate offices and courthouses in every state in the country, staging round the clock "Citizens' Filibusters to Stop the Right Wing Power Grab." We'll also deliver your comments to all the gatherings in your state, so your words will combine with thousands of others to show the public, the media, and our representatives in Washington that we will not give up the fight for our democracy.
It's a rare moment when a vote of such importance is actually too close to call with only hours left and a real chance to win - please sign the petition and add your voice right now:
http://www.moveonpac.org/nuclear?id=5554-3294007-ObOe790dExKi9x7uZNQGPw&t=4
Here's a brief summary of what's at stake.
Bill Frist, George Bush and the far wing of the Republican party are desperate to seize absolute control over all three branches of our government. For 200 years, the rules of the Senate have blocked one party from taking complete control, because the minority has always had the right to filibuster — to extend debate and delay a vote — when their basic rights were in danger. For centuries this has kept the courts fair by ensuring that judges receive at least some support from both sides of the aisle before they are confirmed for life.
Now Senator Frist wants to break the rules of the Senate and eliminate the filibuster, ending the requirement for broad support and handing absolute control over the courts to one party for the first time in our nation's history. To begin, he'll force a handful of extremists onto the powerful U.S. Courts of Appeals. But the real targets are the up to four nominations to the Supreme Court likely to come up during Bush's second term — enough seats to permanently shift the majority and strike down decades of progress on labor rights, environmental protection, privacy rights, and civil rights.
When Frist first announced his plan, it seemed like it was only a matter of time. After all, the Republicans have 55 votes in the Senate, and Frist only needs 50. But today, with 72 hours left, the vote is still too close to call. Thanks to the amazing work of MoveOn members, our partner groups, the Democratic leadership, and basic common sense three Republicans have publicly denounced Frist's plan — Sens. John McCain (AZ), Olympia Snowe (ME), and Lincoln Chafee (RO). We need just three more to win and as many as six are still on the fence, including Sens. Arlen Specter (PA), Chuck Hagel (NE), John Warner (VA), and Susan Collins (ME).
We have one last chance to raise our voice, to help our allies stand strong and convince reasonable Republicans to step back from the brink. The courts we have for decades — and the rights they protect or the rights they strike down — may well be determined by what we do now.
Please sign today.
http://www.moveonpac.org/nuclear?id=5554-3294007-ObOe790dExKi9x7uZNQGPw&t=5
Thank you for all that you do,
–Ben, Marika, Matt, Justin and the MoveOn PAC Team
Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
PAID FOR BY MOVEON PAC
Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.
This is it — they've pulled the trigger.
On Tuesday May 24th, the Senate will vote on a motion to end debate on judicial nominations, and when that motion fails Senator Bill Frist will launch the "nuclear option" — an unprecedented parliamentary maneuver to break the rules of the Senate and seize absolute control over lifetime appointments to the highest courts in the land. The vote is going to be incredibly close, and there are as many as 6 votes still up in the air — more than enough to win. We must act now.
We've launched an emergency petition and, starting Monday, we'll deliver your signatures and comments to the Senate floor every three hours until the vote is complete. As the debate rages on, Senators fighting to preserve our independent courts will read your statements from the floor of congress. And every senator, every 3 hours, will receive thousands of pages from their constituents demanding that they stand up and do the right thing.
We have less than 72 hours to win this vote and save our courts. Please sign today.
http://www.moveonpac.org/nuclear?id=5554-3294007-ObOe790dExKi9x7uZNQGPw&t=3
If you care about the minimum wage — and you don't want judges ruling it unconstitutional — now's the time to act.
If you care about environmental laws — and you don't want judges striking them down — now's the time to act.
If you care about your right to privacy — and you don't want the government telling your family how to live, worship, or even how to die — now's the time to act.
As the fight escalates in Congress, thousands of MoveOn members will gather outside of Senate offices and courthouses in every state in the country, staging round the clock "Citizens' Filibusters to Stop the Right Wing Power Grab." We'll also deliver your comments to all the gatherings in your state, so your words will combine with thousands of others to show the public, the media, and our representatives in Washington that we will not give up the fight for our democracy.
It's a rare moment when a vote of such importance is actually too close to call with only hours left and a real chance to win - please sign the petition and add your voice right now:
http://www.moveonpac.org/nuclear?id=5554-3294007-ObOe790dExKi9x7uZNQGPw&t=4
Here's a brief summary of what's at stake.
Bill Frist, George Bush and the far wing of the Republican party are desperate to seize absolute control over all three branches of our government. For 200 years, the rules of the Senate have blocked one party from taking complete control, because the minority has always had the right to filibuster — to extend debate and delay a vote — when their basic rights were in danger. For centuries this has kept the courts fair by ensuring that judges receive at least some support from both sides of the aisle before they are confirmed for life.
Now Senator Frist wants to break the rules of the Senate and eliminate the filibuster, ending the requirement for broad support and handing absolute control over the courts to one party for the first time in our nation's history. To begin, he'll force a handful of extremists onto the powerful U.S. Courts of Appeals. But the real targets are the up to four nominations to the Supreme Court likely to come up during Bush's second term — enough seats to permanently shift the majority and strike down decades of progress on labor rights, environmental protection, privacy rights, and civil rights.
When Frist first announced his plan, it seemed like it was only a matter of time. After all, the Republicans have 55 votes in the Senate, and Frist only needs 50. But today, with 72 hours left, the vote is still too close to call. Thanks to the amazing work of MoveOn members, our partner groups, the Democratic leadership, and basic common sense three Republicans have publicly denounced Frist's plan — Sens. John McCain (AZ), Olympia Snowe (ME), and Lincoln Chafee (RO). We need just three more to win and as many as six are still on the fence, including Sens. Arlen Specter (PA), Chuck Hagel (NE), John Warner (VA), and Susan Collins (ME).
We have one last chance to raise our voice, to help our allies stand strong and convince reasonable Republicans to step back from the brink. The courts we have for decades — and the rights they protect or the rights they strike down — may well be determined by what we do now.
Please sign today.
http://www.moveonpac.org/nuclear?id=5554-3294007-ObOe790dExKi9x7uZNQGPw&t=5
Thank you for all that you do,
–Ben, Marika, Matt, Justin and the MoveOn PAC Team
Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
PAID FOR BY MOVEON PAC
Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
SPRING FLING
Wow, am I really up right now? Have I really been up since 8AM after going to sleep at around 4:30? *yaaaaaaaaaaawn*
Last night's SPRING FLING was just...extraordinary. It was a truly amazing evening. Women of all shapes, sizes and hues flowed in steadily and after a few moments of mingling and cocktails made their way to the dance floor where they were parked for the rest of the evening grooving to the sounds of DJ RUSSELL (that man definitely knows what he's doing!).
In keeping in the vein of the NEXT TOP MODEL theme, I had my Tyra wig on much to the chagrin of a lot of ladies who were really feelin' the 'fro. I finaly took it off after around 1 or so, it was cute as all get out but you know how I love the natural and I got outright requests for the 'fro so...
Hold on, I'm watching ROCKY...ugh! this is the scene when Mick dies...ooooh, Sylvester Stallone doing he's unintelligible crying which is similar to his unintelligible speaking only louder, it's a subtle difference, but it's there.
Anyway...
Not that I needed one, but last night was a beautiful reminder of why I throw events for women. Two hundred plus intelligent, beautiful, accomplished, mature women in one space communing...no drama, no fuss, just a good time. And afterwards, I thought I was gonna have to sweep people out the door with a broom, no one wanted to leave, but that's cool, La Di Da wasn't trippin' and I just wanted folks out 'cause cute as those mauve stilletos were, my feet were on fire. I think I finally got everyone out by about 3..."out" meaning the party made it's way from La Di Da to the street where connections where made, phone numbers were exchanged and I even overhead two long lost friends reconnect.
I so appreciate each woman who came to the party and all my parties for that matter. It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful and patient they are. Last night, soooo many women were trying to get their complimentary pictures with Sheriece Wallace of City Photo Images, the line was really backed up, but it was all good, the ladies were grateful enough for the service they waited their turns. Sheriece, a true professional, took some really wonderful pictures.
In sadder news, Honey worked my door for the last time last night. Our stunning diva is moving to Texas at the end of the week. I don't know how I'll replace her. Honey is my hostess because her exuberance, diplomacy, wit and beautiful smile is the first thing I want my divas to see when they come to one of my events. Aside from that, she is a great friend and she has an inner light that brightens a room. She will truly be missed.
So, what's next? Saturday, we're all getting together on the beach for an informal day at the beach. Out&About's summer women's beach parties will be an afternoon of volleyball, spades and beach games with a little music and food (byo burgers). We'll also have a fitness trainer who will be doing 40 minute exercises in the sand. Mother's Beach is a small public beach so it'll be easy to find each other, it should be fun.
Okay, I need a nap!
Last night's SPRING FLING was just...extraordinary. It was a truly amazing evening. Women of all shapes, sizes and hues flowed in steadily and after a few moments of mingling and cocktails made their way to the dance floor where they were parked for the rest of the evening grooving to the sounds of DJ RUSSELL (that man definitely knows what he's doing!).
In keeping in the vein of the NEXT TOP MODEL theme, I had my Tyra wig on much to the chagrin of a lot of ladies who were really feelin' the 'fro. I finaly took it off after around 1 or so, it was cute as all get out but you know how I love the natural and I got outright requests for the 'fro so...
Hold on, I'm watching ROCKY...ugh! this is the scene when Mick dies...ooooh, Sylvester Stallone doing he's unintelligible crying which is similar to his unintelligible speaking only louder, it's a subtle difference, but it's there.
Anyway...
Not that I needed one, but last night was a beautiful reminder of why I throw events for women. Two hundred plus intelligent, beautiful, accomplished, mature women in one space communing...no drama, no fuss, just a good time. And afterwards, I thought I was gonna have to sweep people out the door with a broom, no one wanted to leave, but that's cool, La Di Da wasn't trippin' and I just wanted folks out 'cause cute as those mauve stilletos were, my feet were on fire. I think I finally got everyone out by about 3..."out" meaning the party made it's way from La Di Da to the street where connections where made, phone numbers were exchanged and I even overhead two long lost friends reconnect.
I so appreciate each woman who came to the party and all my parties for that matter. It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful and patient they are. Last night, soooo many women were trying to get their complimentary pictures with Sheriece Wallace of City Photo Images, the line was really backed up, but it was all good, the ladies were grateful enough for the service they waited their turns. Sheriece, a true professional, took some really wonderful pictures.
In sadder news, Honey worked my door for the last time last night. Our stunning diva is moving to Texas at the end of the week. I don't know how I'll replace her. Honey is my hostess because her exuberance, diplomacy, wit and beautiful smile is the first thing I want my divas to see when they come to one of my events. Aside from that, she is a great friend and she has an inner light that brightens a room. She will truly be missed.
So, what's next? Saturday, we're all getting together on the beach for an informal day at the beach. Out&About's summer women's beach parties will be an afternoon of volleyball, spades and beach games with a little music and food (byo burgers). We'll also have a fitness trainer who will be doing 40 minute exercises in the sand. Mother's Beach is a small public beach so it'll be easy to find each other, it should be fun.
Okay, I need a nap!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
